The Self-Sabotaging Pinocchio Who Doesn’t Read the Report

I have a stubborn belief: clients who don’t read our reports behave like a classic angry Pinocchio — carving their own problems with their own hands.

Why?

Because our report isn’t a formality. It’s a decision-making tool. And a decision made without data is like jumping with a parachute while blindfolded. Maybe you’ll get lucky. Maybe you won’t.

Or like picking up a syringe needle from the dirty stairwell floor and sticking it into yourself. Maybe you’ll get sick. Maybe you won’t.

Or waving a red cloth in front of a bull: maybe it impales you — but hey, maybe it doesn’t!

You’ve probably heard of data mining: digging through massive piles of information like miners, extracting valuable insights from a ton of “trash” data. Now imagine this:

You hire a team that dug out that gold for you — audience behaviour structure, patterns that your profit rests on, hypotheses tested later with blood, tears, and money — and you don’t even open the report because it’s “hard” and it requires thought.

So you don’t read, you don’t implement, and you keep going the same way.

This is why I love the free market. You see so many strong players, and many of them make this same annoying, typical mistake. Sometimes I feel like a gym membership: paid for, never used.

And I’m not speaking from theory here. I’ve been promoting (or trying to promote) businesses with varying success since August 20, 2020. I’m approaching a hundred projects.

So many great people, ideas, concepts.

And then you — someone who grew up in love with popular science, who literally slept with an “Universe” encyclopedia under the pillow at age ten, who studied dinosaur encyclopedias and flipped through those thick “Cosmos” books — you do research. You investigate. You write market research into a strict launch protocol every single time, even in familiar niches.

And then you deliver it in a report…

Important note: our reports aren’t just tables and text. They include clear conclusions about the conversion funnel: how stable it is, where the weak points are, and how to close them. We’re not guessing. Behind almost every statement there’s something anchored in objective reality.

How do we create creatives — just “by vibe”?

No chance.

We start by collecting reviews and factual material from the niche. Then we map it into an Outcome-Driven Profile using Job Theory: who, in what situation, wanted what, and got what. Then we categorise it into Job Requirements: financial, functional, emotional, social. Then the team lead checks competitor promo posts. Then we build The Buyer’s Journey. Only after that does the team lead sit down and produce creatives.

By that point, she’s deeply informed — about the logic behind the text and image that need to be shown to the target audience. And about the audience itself.

And that’s just the creative pipeline. We go that deep every time.

Yet it often feels like people think reports are “extra.” The only thing that matters is action. As if the market is just three pine trees — no way to get lost, just do things.

“You see the shore? You see there’s no shore? Cool, we’re swimming there. Don’t talk to me about navigation, winds, currents, stars, or scurvy. I need RESULTS!”

So yes, clients come in two types: experienced — or they don’t read our reports.

Experienced ones, as you might guess, have a much better chance of staying alive in the market.